Saturday, October 24, 2009

Halloween is Right Around the Corner

With halloween right around the corner, and it not being a big thing in Italy – I've spent twenty three hours walking the streets over the last three days (normal people don't walk this much when they travel, do they?) - and only seen one shop with any witches, or pumpkins in the window – I have started to think more and more about it. So, for those of you out there, I present a brief tale, and some advice.

I receive emails from friends, family, and the likes. Today I got an e-mail from she who will be joining me in Florida (you'll hear more / see more of her in – oh – six weeks, I'm sure.) And it was this e-mail that spurned the post:

“So on wednesday when i was at school, one of the girls in my programme, who also has farmville, came up to me and said 'last saturday i was playing farmville and my boyfriend was over. He looked over and saw the tiny profile picture of you and your boyfriend, and for the last five days he hasn't stopped talking about how cool your boyfriend's beard is. We went to a costume shop to find something for halloween, and he found a beard. He ran up to me wearing it, and said 'please? please can I be that girl's boyfriend for halloween?'

you've become a potential halloween costume!”

Now I support this idea. In my vanity, I think that more people need to dress up as me for halloween. At summer camp, I had a special day where all my campers made beards of their own to wear. I've often thought that I would make a fantastic line of action figure – as I have a number of variants, but hardly stray from any of them. I'm like a cartoon character, with four or five different looks.

So now, let me please suggest the various looks:
-awkward bowl cut
This version has the bowl cut hair cut that for some reason seemed acceptable a decade and a half ago. He also comes complete with shaved face, and Jurassic Park t-shirt. Preferably the one with the raptor on it, but the logo itself will do. Also, jeans. Jeans that don't fit properly, and are very light in colour, and look ridiculous. This will be the last time jeans are worn.

-gothy trench coat kid
Here you need long hair, and a black wide brim hat. You'll also require a black button up short sleeved shirt, black cargo pants, and a long black trench coat. I'd let you borrow one of the seven still hanging in a closet somewhere, that I used to use. Doc Martin boots are also a must.

-bearded version one
The bearded version one is similar to gothy trench coat kid, but has a full beard, and often wears a Woodstock 99 t-shirt, or a plain white t-shirt. No longer is black the only option.

-hawaiian variant
Trench coats were packed away the moment hawaiian shirts were discovered. Cargo shorts, a full beard, long hair, and the most ridiculous hawaiian shirts possible are to be worn for this.

-teacher, professional
this version requires dress pants, a button up long sleeved shirt, and a tie. Dress shoes, glasses, and a smart fall jacket are part of this ensemble. As is long hair and a full beard. Many students will claim their teacher never dressed like this – but for a year or two I did. Then I just started dressing full time as...

-the traveller
Cargo shorts, and whatever quick dry button up short sleeve shirt happens to be on sale at M.E.C. with closed toe sandals. Again the long hair and the beard are required for this version. Optional accessories are a Canadian flag bandanna, a wide brimmed hat, a ridiculous black poncho, and Geordie LeForge sunglasses.

So there you go – you could have a party, and everyone could come as a different version of me through the ages. It would be terrible, and awkward – and if it happens, take pictures, send them my way!

Only one more week...

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