Wednesday, December 9, 2009

A Rainy Day at the Mall

What do you do in Florida when it's overcast, and rainy, and you're being drowned by the god awful downpour of water? The same as you do on bright hot sunny days: You go to the mall.

Sure, why not, right? I mean, now I had someone with me who could tell me if the hats looked stupid, or not. One can't just buy a piece of clothing without expert opinion, can one? Now with my chosen expert, it might be best – no no... I kid. But, yes, to buy clothing. And where does one such as myself head to buy new clothing? Well that's the question isn't it.

Do I head to American Eagle? Hardly. How about Old Navy – I wish. Their kids clothes are pretty sweet (Wolverine hoodies) but they don't make those for adults. Mind you, a stop at Old Navy to play Here Comes the Sun on “Rockband: Beatles” was a pretty delightful interlude. But no – will I head to, perhaps, a store like Sears? No – for they are my clothing nemesis. Nemesis (*draws hand into clenched fish down from forehead to chest.*)! Mind you, the Ghostbusters, glow in the dark shirt? Nice.

Perhaps I head to Hot Topic – but there is none here, so we'll never know. Or perhaps one of those clothing stores that thinks it's a dance club – all backed out at front, with smoke machines filling the air, while loud bass heavy music pounds through the speakers. I have a question – who – honestly, who – shops at these stores? And do you find the club aspect something that entices you to stay, and shop longer, or do you just want to run in and out? I'm old. I'll admit it. I just don't get it. Help me, when all stores follow this trend. The day I need to buy a new motherboard, and I'm assaulted with clouds of dry ice, well there will be problems.

No – for clothing I head to... ... ... Gamestop.

Yeah, that's right. Bought my first fullback cap there. Sweet little Zelda number. Gang-star for life, yo. And I grabbed a NES toque. Man, seriously, I will be the coolest kid on all of Antarctica! You just watch out.

They were deemed acceptable, and thus purchased.

With that done, I grabbed a copy of Apples to Apples, travel edition (... ... ....FIVE!!!!!) checked out the manatee statue, took a spin in the wind tunnel and left.

Wait – I did what? Ah yes – the hurricane force winds. Well look, sure it's stupid – but two dollars? How could I refuse? It made it hard for Katerine to breathe, but me – I've had worse. Did they really blow at 78 miles and hour? Well the flashing red screen said they did. I'm not sure. I was too busy being awesome, and looking good for all the people who crowded around to watch the ridiculousness.

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