Why, then, the hate? First, I must disclose that it is partially due to the unknown chase I had to embark upon today. You see, Lisa sent me to find an AFL store in downtown Melbourne, but as no such store exists within the city, this was a fruitless effort. One Melbourne information guide directed me to an information booth which sent me up an escalator to nowhere. Luckily I was able to find a burly bald man with tools and a ladder in his hands. Surely he could direct me in the right direction? Of course he could not. And upon checking his iPhone's GPS information, I was made aware that these stores existed only within malls in neighboring areas. None were within central Melbourne itself.
Ah, but I was told not to fear, for the “awe-dah-das” store (heaven forbid one should say “a-dee-duhs”) would have some gear. Sadly theirs was limited due to the World Cup push. Rebel Sports beside them had a few items, but none all that great.
Finally I was directed to F1 sports down on Elizabeth. This brings us to point the second.
Point the Second of reasons to hate – the amount of money I had to spend.
Now sure, I was off to find a woolen(ish) jacket that Lisa had, with the bombers crest on the back, and I was looking to drop one fifty on such a thing (it was a true thing of beauty!). BUT it turns out that this gear does not exist, nor does anyone who works anywhere know about it. Never mind that clearly she had one, and I had seen them for other teams as well. But no – I was told no such thing had ever existed. I can only assume they live within the unknown confines of the outer ring AFL stores. Now I was faced with a dilemma – get some gear, not what I was set out for, or leave with nothing.
Clearly I could not leave without anything, as getting these items back in Canada would be impossible, or terribly expensive at the least. And judging sizes over the internet is a game not to be played. However, when I found last years gear in clearance, it was no longer a simple choice of what one item do I want. Oh no.
I considered putting an item or two back, but knowing they exist, I would only regret such a choice. So perhaps they are not the on field gear, and perhaps they are not the latest issue, but as I will return to a world which knows very little of this sport, let alone what the Essendon Bombers wear on the pitch (field? green?) all will be well.
In related news, the mascot is a 'skeeter'?
But let us not stop the reasons to hate there, oh no. You see, wearing said jacket, with the logo, makes me feel like a fraud. While I will throw my allegiance behind the bombers, for all foreseeable future, it should be noted that I now need to learn the sport, and the team lest I am one of those who just pretends – like oh so many 'pretty girls' flaunting their pink and black Yankee's hats (or worse the pink and white ones, pony tails flowing freely), pretending that they know a thing about the game of baseball. Their pony tails be damned! Gear is for those who love sport. And gangs. Which is why you'll see many Toronto Blue Jays caps around America, despite no one following my home team.
So now I must research all, and without a video game to teach me (they are the best way to fully learn a sport, players, rules, plays, etc – thank you NHL 2002 by EA sports, and Triple Play Baseball '97.) I will have to research via highlights, and websites. Which would be fine if Australia didn't hate internet so much.
Standing conspicuously outside of cafes, and McDonald's with my laptop in hand – a think I don't remember setting upon since Edinburgh, some time ago – I was able to quickly check and send emails. I've already spent six dollar and fifty cents to use internet in this city, and that is far too much. Not when I am prepared with my very own wireless device. Still – one dollar fifty cents of that was used to make a phone call which led to my surfing, so I can't possibly be upset with that fantastic turn of events.
I did manage to find a discount store selling shampoo of name brand quality quite cheap, and it was located beside a pancake store for which I had a two for one coupon. Oh the pancakes I ate! I laughed when I saw that for a mere five dollars (as if that is not a terrible terrible price – as I just obtained four pancakes and ice cream for five bucks) you could have maple syrup, “Imported from the North American region of Canada for the true Gourmet Connoisseur.”
With full belly, empty wallet, and heavy pack laden with laptop, I made my way back to the tram line, wandering through an alley full of beautiful graffiti the likes of which I'd not seen for far too long. After taking a picture or ten, I jumped back on the city circle tram – a free street car that surrounds the entire downtown district and makes urban exploration beautifully easy. The tram line not only takes you around the city but also plays a recording information you about what sights you are passing, and what places you may find of interest – it is not unlike those twenty dollar bus rides, save for it being, not twenty dollars, and on rails.
Back in my hostel I passed time listening to music. I've become quite fond of the Dodos, whom I saw back in Dresden half a year ago. Their song Undeclared off of Visiter has become somewhat of a favourite these passing days.
Making my way down to the tv room, I saw that the guy in there was in the middle of Blade Runner. All throughout Tokyo, one of my fellow travellers talked about visiting Shibuya East, where it would look like the dark techno future depicted in the movie. I don't know what drew him to that film, but after five minutes of watching I realized just why I'd not rewatched this film for so many years. It's boring, it's terrible, it's just pure pain. Two girls came in and then bailed on it. Even he who set it in motion bailed twenty minutes from the end, unable to put up with inanity. As for myself? Well it was twenty minutes until I was due to meet a girl – so what could I do but view?
Mercifully the credits began to scroll. On the street corner I stood one minute, two minutes, “BOTSWANNA!”
BOTSWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNA!
She who I'd not seen since parting ways in Zambia just after the transition into the new year was standing before me, arms wide for a reuniting hug. It didn't seem like that long had passed, standing there – but six months is time enough for all sorts of new experiences and changes, especially in my world. While I still feel the same as I did then, this version of myself has walked on all seven continents; he, back then had not. At that time I was limited to four.
Once at her house, she provided me with free internets and began to cook. What a fantastic deal this was! Cannelloni was on order, and though she would claim other wise it was quite good. Some were crunchy, but very few. While she took the blame for this herself, it was truly the fault of the ready to bake noodles. These things never work out, and why they still exist on store shelves is beyond me. Even still only two out of half the oven pan crunched for me. She was less lucky in her selection. The key? Take from all over the pan, avoid potential hot spots. Mind you, in doing that, I left her with mysterious random sections too – just lucky I guess?
Ahh half a pan of food. This is wonderful eating at its best. Food – warm, wonderful, food.
And after, as well as during, we hung out on couches watching television. A normal every day moment that seemed so in tune with what I'd have been doing half a world away. I have decided that – while a terrible sitcom, Modern Family (families?) is a cute and acceptable show.
There was also a reality cooking show to be viewed. And finally, the first half of the New Zealand vs. Slovakia World Cup match.
You know, the more I think about New Zealand team names, maybe the All Whites isn't the best name to choose either? Surely the good people of South Africa have no problems with it, yeah?
Well fed, and brain properly rotted, I returned to my hostel, fully content in the way that only a full and happy belly can leave one. And leaving, I could only think about just how many reasons I have to come back to this country. Which only makes me think of how many others I think that way about.
There's a whole wide world out there, and I need to be everywhere at once.
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