Shanghai World Expo 2010 - Day Four

Today began at a merciful nine thirty.

Other days I'd have already been up for hours. I'd have already been to the expo for hours. But those were in the days of pass seeking. Today no China pass was required, and I could go at my leisure. And my leisure would bring me there at ten thirty.

I would not stop at the countries side and check out what there was to see there. No, today, I would stop at the Puxi side – one stop earlier, one stop north, of where I normally disembarked. Today I would explore the corporate side of the World Expo. Hey – it had to be pretty good right? I mean, that's why there were no lines, and no one walking around – because of how fantastic it was, yeah?

Also there was rain. Not enough to drown you, but a constant misting that had a cumulative effect that worked its way into your clothing. Especially if you chose to wear a cotton t-shirt. A most fabulous yellow, Canada, cotton t-shirt. Where, but the world Expo, would a shirt emblazoned with the name of your home country, would be more appropriate for such duds? The only problem? My beard covered my country's name. That was fixed by braiding my beard into three strands. Awesome fashion statement one and two.

Grabbing a most delicious salad bacon wrap from the bakery I was well nourished and ready for a day looking at things, I knew not what. It's strange – I had become so used to the one side of the river, than being on the other was very disorienting. I didn't know where to go, I didn't know how to get there, I didn't know what I was looking for when I arrived. But as I stumbled through the maze of confusion I'd constructed for myself I saw a line – a great big line for the CSSC building. No I didn't know what the CSSC was, but if all these people felt strongly enough to get behind it, well then it seemed like a good a place as any to start.

Into the line I went.

As it would turn out CSSC – I believe – is the ship docks that used to be located here where the two corporate zones are. I was told this before, that the Expo was being hosted at the old dock yards. New ones were built. Apparently some villages were taken down too – but new ones were created for those who lost their homes. Most are happy about this – we are told.

Inside a movie shows the past present and potential future of the Chinese ship building. They also illustrate plans for a Rapture-like underwater expanse. I'm not sure that any of these underwater cities would ever work – nor do I think they'd be a great idea. After all, what would an Earthquake do? Once again though, if anyone was going to pull something like this off, it would be the Chinese. There's little you can't accomplish with a communist government and a workforce totaling more than one billion.

As I walk around, it's hard to think this is the same country where people drowned their children if they had the misfortune of being female. And where were the beggars who rented special needs children? Were these all myths – or are they out there, outside the World Expo gates?

When the video finished, a hallway where models were displayed for an armada that would act as a functioning city. There were farm ships, and power ships, and cargo ships – refrigerating, entertainment, and more. It was like the armada in Battlestar Galactica – but less travelling through space, and more floating on water. There also didn't seem to be a battleship amongst them either. Surely, were this floating city ever put to the test, one would be included. Yarg. Pirates there be matey.

Finally there was a creation the length of the USS Enterprise. An entire city on one ship, with apartment towers, and playgrounds, and even airplane landing strips. It was a dream – but once more I got the feeling that's all it would ever be. A dream. Where are the plans to make these ideas a reality? When could such a thing ever hope to come to pass?

On the other hand I got to control mouse cursors by moving my arm through the air, and that was fun.

The next building I checked out was called 2049. I expected this to show me the future 39 years from now. It's going to be a different place by then. I don't mean in the great future tech way of things, I just mean – the people around me. Friends, family. Some will change, some will be added, others lost. Thirty some odd years doesn't seem all that long, and yet – some day it will be far too long to ever hope to see. But these were not the thoughts I came for. I came for machines, and more robots, and -

apparently I came for monkeys. Saving monkeys. The expo is doing wonders for making saving animals seem sexy. I wonder if any of these governments cared before now?

Once we learned about the monkeys we were herded to a 360 movie with sand art, and the like. It was quite interesting – the telling of a story by drawing pictures with sand – and I'd like to see more of it. It has a shadow puppetry feel to it. And it's something I'd never really thought of before.

And then I learned about recycling. Specially in Taipei, where the garbage was such a problem until good ol' Uncle China stepped in and fixed their back water ways. I wonder how terrible it was? Were the streams really over run by refuse? Honestly, I'd not be surprised either way.

From there we were give choices of which two cylindars we wanted to go into first – D or E. I choose D, as it was said to have a thirty minute line, but looked pretty short – which meant that if anyone else stepped up it would become far longer. E had a short line, but a lot of people, meaning that they could deal with the masses. So into D I want, the Ant Colony.

In line I explained to a Chinese woman the difference between beard and mustache. She was the first person over forty who asked to take a picture with me. Barrier crossed. Right as I was about the get into my novel people started shouting E-ka-Ren-da. I had no idea what was going on, but they were all looking at me, and then pushing me to the front of the line. Apparently they needed a single person to enter into the pavilion. Now that I think about it, I had discovered that Ren (the logo for the Expo) meant people/person, and E I believe is one. But at the time? Just weird.

Still – up I went, and inside I saw why – it was a little bit of a ride. There were seat belts and everything. The only problem with that, I felt like Alan Grant in the helicopter landing on Jurassic Park. I had only two female ends. There was nothing to clip them together. And they weren't long enough to snap together. Finally the woman beside me saw her mistake and hooked me up with a male side of the belt, and off we went.

O.K. up we went. Very slowly up. But it was interesting, cartoon ants explaining what lessons we had to learn from animals when it comes to building and creating. Some malls in Africa have used their techniques to air condition, with a constant stream of fresh moving air from outside. What other secrets does studying this animals hope to reveal to us?

And then down down down we went, and off to the final building within 2049. This we sat in a motion simulator chair, but all it did was let us lie back to see a movie projected on the ceiling, and then sit up when we were to look at the walls once more. The environment is in trouble. I got that part. We can save it. Blah blah blah. But it was pretty.

I consulted my new map (not the one covered in stamps – the rain would have hurt it oh so much. It's in rough enough shape from constant use as it is.) There was a big Future Pavilion in front of me. It was one of the ones you needed to make a reservation for, and I did not – but getting close I noticed that there as a small line for the non-reserved. Ten minutes there, and I was inside ready to see what the future held. And apparently what it holds Hollywood has already shown me.

The Island, Moebius Strip, Ghost in the Shell, and Metropolis had clips playing detailing what these cities of the future could be like. Some thoughts crossed my mind – The Island? Really? That's what you choose to show? Ghost in the Shell – man I need to finish that, jut not on a plane. And then watch 1st and 2nd gig as well. Moebius Strip? What is this movie, and why have I never heard of it. I must seek it out. And Metropolis – after over a decade of hearing how I need to watch it, fine – maybe I'll get around to it now, then, alright? Happy.

And I was left with the wounded though of – why no fifth element? That was a great future society all figured out in full. Well whatever. Through the door, and on to the fuuuuuture (echo echo echo).

Walking through tunnels covered in text, I was shocked that I could read everything. There was no problem with trying to understand. Once more I discover how fantastic it is to speak and read English. Were you from Germany, or France, or – well anywhere – and you didn't know English or Chinese, that's it, you'd be screwed. You'd have no idea what anyone was saying. I don't think that pavilions even translate in their own home language – which seems like a silly thing. You'd think the Spanish could at least enjoy Spain but in this case, I do not think that is so.

As I wandered the future it was more promises of a greener environment and things to come, without proof of anything at all being done to take us there. This was getting as silly as all the pavilions just showing off their great projector technology. I quickly made my way out.

I was on to the Case buildings. I didn't know what they were – but there were a lot of them. Join pavilions, and single ones, and – luckily I had stopped my stamp collecting madness, if only because I was running out of space. Now I just grabbed ones I care about, or one from where I looked around.

Hong Kong was first – stamp stamp – and I was given a bracelet to open a door, and then use on some screens to gain tourist information (that's what the Case buildings are for!) and then to open the exit door. While I wasn't told, I wonder if the chip in these bracelets could be used as an octopus card? It's too bad it will be quite some time until I'm given the chance once more to find out – provided I don't lose this somewhere along the way. Which I probably will.

Then onto Montreal – where there was a whole lot of nothing. Fitting for such a city, I'd say. Vancouver I wanted to check out – but they were closed with guards at the door. Did they not notice my b right yellow Canada shirt? I mean – come on! - let me in. Most people, finding I'm from Canada, think I'm from B.C. anyway, so it could be my home town. Why do they think I'm from B.C.? They wrongly assume I'm a hippie. Hippies... ugh. I shower! With soap too – not that biodegradable stuff that still leaves you smelling, no matter what your vegan friends might tell you!

The Xi'an Case was beautiful, and built like the drum tower. Inside was mostly baren. I thought, maybe, the Jade Chariot might be here – but it was not. Enough of these Cases. The day was dragging on, and there were still a few buildings I wanted to check out this side of the river. There was the Future Home pavilion, which on the way to, I purchased some Apple milk. While Apple/Orange milk – no good – Apple milk? Quite lovely, and I think it would go really well on cereal. True story.

The Future Home pavilion had two lines – one for those wanting to see the 3D movie, and one for those who didn't. 3D movie? Two hours. Without, about five minutes. I knew where I was headed. Who knew what the movie was about, or how long it lasted? I have no time for that. So into the building I went. And saw – I don't kn ow – more dreams. It was like a child playing with toys, “this ship can go mach 20 through the upper atmosphere linking anywhere in the world in seconds” Uh huh. That will happen. You can make up whatever specs you want where there's no one to hold you to it. Why stop at mach 20? Why not warp 7, instantly get from area to area? Why not show teleporters on the moon? But maybe – maybe – there's some hope that this will become reality in the next thirty years. We'll have to see what Richard Branson thinks about it.

Last on my list of things to see was the Coca-Cola pavilion. I know, I know, but what could I do? It was there beside me. And people in line were cheering, and getting balloon animals, and being branded (face/hand painted) with the Coca-Cola logo. How could I resist the urge to get in that super-happy corporate joy line?

Inside a movie played showing how coke gets from the vending machine to you, and it is a magical series of mountains and adventures, and weird little cartoon 3d not real miscreants running around. Not just a series of tubes.

They also talked about a new future Coke vending machine which could provide hundreds of different types of drinks – in theory, I'm thinking, that the soda water and the syrup would be inside, and it would mix itself when you select what you want. I am excited for this – as I would create the most vial of all flavours, and claim to love it. Coca-Cola I am ready for your nonsense.

Also – for only $200USD you could buy a glass coke bottle. The gold one was only 10USD – I have no idea why the other was so much more, nor did I ask, for the closer I got the more people seemed to want to help me, which gave me Future Shop syndrome, and sent me running far far away, down to the ferry, where I would cross the river back to the side I'd come to know and love.

Well I didn't run all the way to the Ferry docks. First, I felt the need to pop into the Expo museum.

The expo museum showed the past host cities, and things that were on display there – assembly lines, and light bulbs, and telephones, and wonders of the world. And I got to thinking, what is Shanghai adding to the mix? I mean, yeah, there's lots of hopes and dreams – but what is that one thing that will leave people thinking, “wow – this is it?” Sure there was the future tech in the Japan pavilion, but I'm wondering if it's even possible to have the expo show something off? Would any corporation use this forum as a launch platform? There are so many more ways, so many more places – it seems the time of the expo is growing short, as the world keeps shrinking. Hopefully there will be a place for it – as it was really interesting. But I'm not not sure what to have taken away from it.

And then on to the docks.

For the most part the ferry crossing was smooth – except for docking. Though the waters were still, it took no less than eight attempts to back up, go forward, try to loop the rope around the dock, and then repeat. This was an obnoxious process than went beyond hilarity after try four or five. It was not getting cooler in the boat.

But once all was well I headed off to BK – where, joy of joys, they had burgers again. A spicy chicken and a final Whopper, and I was good to leave the Expo with just one quick stop first. O.K. two, there was no line for the Lithuania building. In I went. And then out. Great. Now to the gift shop.

Buying things was weird here. Heaven forbid you just took your purchases to the front. No – you saw something you wanted, pointed to it (never touching it) on the shelf, were written a sheet for it, took the sheet to cash, paid for nothing, had your sheet stamped, took it back to the shelf, and were given the item you first pointed to. Sure, yeah, that makes sense. Whatever – I had some items and was good to go.

At 5:59 I declared my expo over, got on the bus, and had only one more strange event occur. A girl pointed at my beard, and then said, “beard!” Ahh the ways of these post-high school Chinese girls. And when I was looking away she patted by arm hair, “ohh!” Really? I guess arm hair is as foreign as facial hair. But this was a first for me.

With that, my time in Shanghai, and the expo, was over. I made my way to the subway, back to the hostel, and then to sleep. Tomorrow I'd be flying to Singapore.

Huh – looks like I never saw the Shanghai skyline at night after all. Who could have possibly predicted that?

Shanghai World Expo 2010 - Day Three

Five thirty is far too early to start any day.

Once more our local Snorfie came in handy – when that tragic racket is set a going err-lie in the morning it's hard to go back to sleep even if you wanted to. So why not get out of bed, pull on clothes, give the ol' hair a brush, the underarms a deodorizing, and then punch on out the door.

I headed straight to my local subway stop – the doors to it were closed. Now I could have waited and hoped they'd open at six, but there was no way to be sure. Instead I headed down to the people's square stop. Which I reached. At six. Ugh – but down the stairs I descended and buying my ticket, one yuan more from this stop, I jumped on board for the five stop ride.

Getting out – the running began. Everyone ran out the stop, and some – foolishly – ran up the stairs. I hopped up the escalator still making better time than them, and then I continued to run, now with bonus added huffing and puffing all the way to – the gate. Not the gate to the Expo mind you, but the gate to the gate to the expo. Five lines were set up, with five more in the process of being chained off. I became person ten in line three. It was 6:10. There were about fifty or sixty of us here, and we all waited for them to let us in so we could take our place at the real expo gate.

And why were we so keen on getting in early? Not just to line up for the super-busy pavilions, I can assure you of that. We were in line so that we could grab one of the ellusive China Pavilion tickets – handed out to the first fifty or so people through each entrance. They say that 20 000 are handed out to individuals a day. I don't know if I believe this – I mean the Chinese say it, so it must be true. All I'm saying is that the last two days I've been very early and never seen such things. But today would be different. I was front of the line. All they had to do was open the pre-gate so we could go in an sit down in the real line. After all, that's why we were all here so early.

Why weren't they opening the pre-gate? By 6:30 the crowd had triple. By 6:40 five times more. By 7:00 the sidewalk was jammed with people, spilling down the streets an around the corner. Why weren't we being allowed in? This was genius Chinese planning at it's best (read: worst.) Yes, they could have set up their troops inside, and allowed us there, but no – they were inciting madness. From past experience, I knew the real gates were about three minutes, or more, from here. And when they started checking tickets, there was going to be a terribly mad rush unless they had something smart planned. This is the sort of thing I'd do with my students on assignment sign up day.

They had nothing smart planned. At 7:16 they opened the pre-gates, and checked tickets. Being tenth in line I had a head start on the people behind me. But not much of one. Off and running we were. I was stuck behind an old couple, and then a mother with child. I don't want to say I pushed them out of the way, but if they were pushed when I tried to sidestep them, well they had no one to blame but their government.

How the Chinese expect anyone old or young to get to the Chinese Pavilion is beyond me. I ran, and then walked, and then ran, and then hobbled, and then ran – and then wanted to die. But there in front was the gate. The real gate. Bonus steam and slam, the first round gate door was slammed shut just as ten more people clamored in behind me. It was seven twenty. The worst was over. Sure we still had a good hour and forty minutes before we could see if our efforts bore fruit – there was that mother with her child, just behind me – how could they have possibly made it through that rush?

I saw on the ground and read Vlad, the novel I picked up from a fellow traveller in Xi'an. Think of it as the “Wicked” for Dracula.

Eight forty eight. That's when things started happening again. People got excited. They knew what would happen in twelve minutes. No longer could I sit. The shoving had begun. and then – nine – the gates opened, I ran to security, got a quick mag scan, and set off all sorts of beeps – but clearly the lady knew the importance of getting in fast and just let it go (hot tip for people up to things no good) and then I scanned my ticket, burst through, and Success! I grabbed a Chinese pavilion ticket. The day was mine. Victory was mine. And thanks to the breakfast I had eaten in line – purchased the night before - was in good spirits. Off to Japan.

There was more running – before I just said screw it. It was going to be a long day (the visiting time on my ticket for the China pavilion was 8:30 – 9:00pm.

By the time I made it to Japan the line had already begun to grow. But I was passing through most of it in a constant walk. Step, step, block the line jumpers, unless they are me, and then – halt. Just shy of the forty minutes from here sign is where I stopped. For the next hour I would stand, sit, and read in line. Fans were handed out just for fun. Paper advertising fans. I took three. I can't resist free things – you should see the number of maps I always grab.

And then the waiting paid off. Passing under the sign, now reading, “current wait time: 4 hours 00 minues,” I was inside.

The Japanese pavilion started with the traditional, scrolls displaying important aspects of the Japanese history, and then a traditional home, with mats on the floor for sleeping. As I walked through the building, electrical fans built into the floor to cool the air, and keep the temperature oh so comfortable, I couldn't help but feel that I was, partially, back there. And there are few places I would rather be than Japan. Even the staff spoke Japanese – words and patterns I could make out, and try to comprehend.

And then the old became new. Classical accommodation were replaced by biofuel cells, and videos of futuristic transportation devices, and robots. Always robots with the Japanese. This was a small one pointing out, and talking in Chinese, all the various things to see around you. Staff tried to tell people that pictures were not allowed to be taken. Good luck with that. Did they not realize there was a robot?! I mean, come on – Japanese asking Chinese to stop taking pictures would be like – well – Chinese asking Japanese to stop taking pictures. Like either would listen to the other. As for me? I just did what the masses did. It seemed a safe bet. Then two large doors opened, and we were all rushed inside.

On three large wall screens a video played detailing the Japanese struggle to save a species of Ibis from extinction. They failed. Buy years later the Chinese discovered seven, and with the help of the Japanese scientist they bred them, manging to slightly up the population. This was a story of two nations coming together for the greater good, and while it may have seemed a strange tale to watch, it would be the thread that linked the entire population together.

In the future we were shown houses equipped with the Panasonic Life Wall (the three screens before us) These were touch computers the size of a wall, with impeccable resolution. Cameras were used to take photos of the audience, with facial recognition places each person in their own frame, which could be moved, sized, spun, rotated. Then the presentation continued, with the grown scientist looking for the birds he'd helped so long ago. Travelling down a path in his iRide, a single person mobile chair, he called home – a video talk screen opened on the Life Wall there.

When this device had been fully demoed, becoming so much more than Back to the Future 2 had prepared us for, two people in iRides came on stage and moved around in a choreographed dance, to music that seemed out of time, yet quite perfect for the occasion. Finally from off stage walked in a human sized robot. With a violin. Which it then played.

For three minutes I watched a robot play a violin.

Yes I know that it's little different than pushing buttons at the right time, and that player pianos date back ages, but this was still impressive. Robots! Almost as neat as dinosaurs. Almost.

Next we entered a room where, running to the front, I scored the best seats available. A surreal piece of performance art, and singing, was played out before us – a young girl, a man, and a woman, each taking part while images played across the screen behind them. I believe the theme was connectivity, and bringing us all together, though I cant' be sure. It was terrifying, and beautiful, and otherworldly. When it finally ended I was shaken from the trance it had laid upon us all, and descended down and out of the pavilion. One hour had passed us by.

As I considered what to do next, I found myself lured into the Japanese stage area. I had found myself into the world of Saturday Morning children's shows. Handed a piece of paper with a large heart on it, the audience was put on screen. The camera recognized the shape, or colour, or something and shot sparks from them as we all watched, delighted. One by one characters came out in brilliant costumes, filled with hyperactive personas and personalities. They sang, they danced, they defeated an evil with with the power of love, and all the whie we filled a meter by shaking our pages on cue sending out heats, or stars, or flowers when required.

For forty minutes I was not myself, but something much more free and unrepresed, as is often the case when grated the opportunity. I've often thought I should be part of a children's show. And in some small ridiculous way, here I was.

Two giant green cactus things saved the day in the end, and the power of love prevailed. Better city; better life. Better world; better life! This and E – I – so – suh; Hi – E – ah were repeated over and over again throughout the show. Children love these things, I am told. And then we got a pin. Ohh!

At noon I finally made my return to the world. With so much before me, I decided I'd swing by the China pavilion to see if I had to be in line by the time stated, or inside at that time. Then I'd head to BK for lunch. Mmm Whoppers. My way, right away, at Burger King now.

The girl at the pavilion let me in on a fabulous secret. Though the ticket says you must enter during that time slot, it is not enforced, and you can go whenever you want (and they wonder in the media why there are lines, and why no one is sticking to their time slots.) Well – lunch could wait a wee longer.

I shot through the China line, only to find that the real line is up the escalator underneath the building. This line took a wee bit longer, but it wasn't all that bad. The elevator was decked out to look like a train, video screens acting as windows as he transported ourselves to – China. Which was a wee strange as that's where we began, but never mind. Stepping out, I was in a 'station' which I quickly exited, and fond myself being ushered into a movie theatre.

A movie showing the speed at which China has built up cities, and come together as a country was played, with time stopping during 2005. The moment of the Beijing earthquake, frozen. I, myself, had all but forgotten it ever happening – but for the people here the moment was still fresh, and the displayed images powerful to me, must have been so much more to the ones who lived through it.

The final scenes showed a city in the future with building architecture out of a science fiction imagining, and landscapes un-thought of. Anywhere else I would have claimed this to be nothing more than fantasy, but looking around the city of Shanghai you get the feeling that if anyone is going to bridge this gap between urban present and urban future it will be here, in China.

When the movie concluded we were let out into a hallway where an animated scroll crept along the wall. Within a room the actual artifact could be seen, taking fifteen seconds to traverse from one end to the other on a moving platform. I had heard that the piece would be removed, replaced by the first jade chariot from Xian, though clearly it had not been. As for the Jade chariot? I'm not sure where it is. The people of Xian no longer have it – a sign there said it would be here. Interesting.

Other priceless pieces of pottery, jewelry, and sculpture lined the room – unseen by most of the local population, on display as it rarely has been before.

Under an arch I entered the “Land of Hope.” Lit up trees, and city lights merged as one. The combining of rural space and city space to make a better world. Better cities, better life. That is the motto of this Expo, and slowly I'm starting to see some buildings actually cared to theme themselves around it.

From there a hallway lined with children's art led to “The Dialogues.” A seven minute rail ride through colourful landscapes leading, at the end, to a vision of heaven, where white shrines sat on clouds, the city seen far below. And then I was in “The Vision.”

Here were biofuel cells, solar panels, and wind turbines on display, being modeled as a practical way to power ones life. There is so much talk, and demonstration of the world becoming a greener place here – but will anyone act on it? Models and simulations are one thing, but where is the proof? Where is the actual creations? Where is the promise to move forward?

With that thought we were led down a large escalator to the park outside accessible only to those with a ticket. And within the park was a gift shop selling China Pavilion items – elite pieces of clothing, and head gear, that could only be purchased by those who managed to get inside. And then, there, right near the exit was what many held so proudly. The China stamp. There were two – round and square. And people were stamping just about everything they could get their hand on. Including their other hand. It was a mad scramble, but this had been foreseen. Rather than one person stamping all day, twelve stamps were placed for people to use on their own..

And like that, one hour after I entered, I exited. Three oh five. Time to get on with the day. Time to get some lunch.

Heading off to the land of America I attempted to grab a burger. But disaster struck! BK was out of burgers! How could this be?! What had happened. With the cheapest food in the park gone, I chose, sadly, to forgo my meal. There would be other chances. Now was my chance to look through the European Joint pavilions and see some more countries (and claim some more stamps – working to fill the entirety of my map.)

Picking off a number, all blurrng into each other save for Moldova, where a blonde worker was being crowded for photo after photo – and Azerbaijan. Azerbaijan... I will never go to this country. So speakith I! When I attempted to get my map stamped I was told, no – they only stamp passports. Excuse me? They only stamp the things that people want to sell on ebay, but not a map that I'd keep for myself?! Listen here Azerbaijan, you are a crap little country and you should be doing all you can to gain tourist acceptance. Not stamping a piece of paper in some cases – especially when Eastern Europe is full of teeny tiny countries that area all pretty much the same to outsides – can be enough to get yourself black listed. Moldova? If I'm in the area, there I'll visit – but Azerbaijan? Forget you buddy. You keep your nine million people (really? Wow – that's a lot) and your driving on the right (good for you) and your 994 area code. Sorry Baku, but I'm just not that into you.

The stamp collecting continued as I pushed through the Pacific Islands, grabbing over a dozen there, working to almost fulfill my quest. No longer had I patience to look at things or read, but Samoa was interesting – as it was staffed by Samoans. Which was – awesome.

At this point I was tired, hungry (which might explain my rage with Abber-baby earlier), and achy. But being this close to so many other pavilions I had wanted to see – well, I knew I wouldn't be back. So one more push.

New Zealand was lovely, mostly because of its plants and geyser outside. They also had a song and dance by some of their native people.

Cambodia reconstructed Angkor Watt – which was weird, as it looked oh so similar in some places. I could easily name the temples I was looking at.

Indonesia – now this was a pavilion. A museum all on its own right. Three floors of real information about the country. And had I seen it days earlier? I would have loved it. Now I just wanted to press through, say I'd been there, and go home. The Tuk-Tuk display with many different kinds for show was pretty sweet too.

But not before seeing Brunei. Blue floor. Pretty colours. Great. Lets go.

Ohh good – the United Nations pavilion – well I had to wander through there, but then – then! - it was really time to go. On to the bus, onto the subway, quick stop for hot dogs at the station (better and bigger and cheaper than New York – but that doesn't say much. Give me more toppings and it might kinda sorta be acceptable. Though the spicy dog did taste good. They were New Yorkish with their toppings – mustard and ketchup. At least they didn't look at me strange when I asked for both.

And that was that. Three days down – one more to go.

Shanghai World Expo 2010 - Day Two

By the second day, the World Expo had lost some of its luster.

Now maybe this has something to do with the fact that I was up at 7am today, partially due to the help of our snorflog alarm clock, once more chiming in every hour, on the hour. But why, you might ask, am I up at seven in the morning? The reason is so I could secure ticket to see the China pavilion down at the expo. You see, rather than just having a line for it you need to get a special ticket. To get this ticket you need to be there very early. So at seven thirty I rolled up, and sat down in line, and cracked my book to do some reading. I had an hour and a half to kill before the gates would open.

Some pushing here, some shoving there, and finally I was inside. I should note it was not me pushing or shoving. In this backwards world where I wait patiently, I like to spread my elbows out and walk at a nice even pace, not letting people pass. It's a good system that keeps me entertained when my belly is empty and craving food. No time to waste eating, not when the earlier you arrive, the more likely you are to get a CPT.

In the gate within eight minutes of opening and... ... ... tickets were gone. Of course they were. Ugh. No China pavilion ticket. Well at least I was here early – I could make my way to visit the Saudi Arabia pavilion and see what all the long line fuss was about. So early in the day the line would have to be short, yeah? And it was. I queued in line, half the way to the front already. This would take no time at all. Ten minutes passed. Thirty minutes. Fifty. Seventy five. This was getting ridiculous. Ninety minutes went by, one hundred and ten. Two hours. Two! Hours! And I was inside the building. Fine, whatever, I was in. I had a pamphlet pointing out the roof top oasis, and the stage, and all sorts of other areas. This would be pretty good after all. Right as I walked in I found myself in... another line. Yes inside the pavilion is another line snaking up the spiraled stairs.

The staff walked away. I said screw it. To be honest, I can't believe this many Chinese – the same ones elbowing me for the past two hours, were standing so nicely against the right hand rail. I just walked up on the left skipping about one hundred people and saving myself a good twenty or thirty more minutes. And what was the cause of this big wait? The pavilion itself was designed this way. When you get to the top you step on a moving sidewalk no more than one person wide.

And then a movie begins. Of course it does. Why would I expect anything else from the expo? So moving along at a snails pace you see images of the happy Saudies doing their thing. Were we not on a motovator I would have rushed through this in a few minutes, as would everyone else releasing the long line queue. But then you enter a world of pulsing colour and sound. Look, I got some good pictures – but... It wasn't very good. And it was such a long delay because of how they were setting it up. Well that's Saudi Arabia for you – make it look good from the outside, and that's all you need.

I need not mention that none of the other things, the roof top, the stage, etc, were open to the public at this time.

There are a number of buildings not yet ready, or not fully functioning. You'd think by this point they'd be good to go – but...

Now Vietnam, there's a well set up pavilion. Flashy statues, and ten armed colourful things. Ancient pottery, lots of information, and a strict walk in, walk out, no line policy.

India, Nepal, and a few others that had no line before I headed to Saudi were now full up – and not worth the wait. Nothing would be worth any waiting after this nonsense.

Laos, and Myanmar, they were alright too. I think a person working in Myanmar was telling me I couldn't take photos, and there may have been signs to that effect – but I don't speak or read Chinese, so sorry but you're on your own. Snap snap snap.

And the rain started to fall. Great. Super. This is what a hungry me needs – so grouchy and wet I continued to press through Asia. Bangladesh smelled of their delicious overpriced curry, and was nothing more than a glorified shop. I was starting to feel as if there was nothing worth seeing in this area until:

Mongolia. Man, they had dinosaurs! Emm Effin' dinosaurs! Do you know how awesome that is?! It's bloody DINOSAUR awesome! That's how awesome that is! They had dinosaur eggs, and a baby dinosaur nest, and a freaking raptor skeleton duking it out with a dino I'd never ever heard of before! All this inside a huge meteor shell thing. I'm gonna be honest – I was starting to think that this expo was not gaining the tourism interest it was meant to - but a velociraptor?! I so want to check out Mongolia now! This is not... I think... what they're normally known for, is it? And if they are – why had I not, until now, been informed?

Two hour line for Saudi pavilion? Lame. Walk into Mongolia – fantastic! Something to be said for the small exhibits – they hold strange and mysterious wonders too.

I made a quick pass through the Maldives, and a building that I couldn't quite figure out. But I'll tell you what, it was like the Tonight Tonight Smashing Pumpkins video come to life. And that had its own charm. Were the music playing, plus ten to fantasticalness – sadly, it was not.

I could feel myself become more and more grouchy. I've become quite attuned to what emotions and reactions are just caused by hunger. I couldn't help feeling that way – avoiding umbrellas at every corner didn't help – but I could not press on to the land of food yet. Not when there were some more buildings between me and the bus stop to take me down to the American Whoppers.

I headed into Morocco. This had a cool video, and a great number of different displays spread amongst three floors. Hop tip for anyone wanting to see this pavilion, but not wanting to wait in line – just sneak in the back exit. Yeah yeah it may be 'wrong' but all you need to do is either hop the “do not hop” velvet rope on floor one, or the unseen, behind the stairs, rope on the second floor. Then you're in. What you wanna do is up to you. I'm all for the rules normally – but I was less than happy about the earlier wait.

And then there was a pavilion. A middle eastern pavilion. Palestine (really?), Jorday, Syria, Afghanistan, Something that sounds like Baharam (which makes me delight in memories of Surf Ninjas and magical Game Gears), and Yemen. The pavilions offer two good points. Well three – the third being there are some worthwhile things to see inside – the first, you're quickly inside without line, thus not getting wet. And the second, more important point, you're quick to snap up a great number of stamps in record time.

Yesterday stamp collecting was fun – today it is a must. It's the only reason to keep going from building to building. Sure you see things there, but it's the carrot that keeps you moving. I mean, why would I stop and look in one place that is almost the same a the one beside it? These cultures aren't all that different. A necklace from one (made before the lines were drawn in the sand) is pretty much going to look like the same necklace on display next door. But collecting stamps – awesome fun. I'm hooked.

And, what, you're going to learn about countries at these things? The only information they have is less than a wiki entry sidebar. These places don't break down population density. That's a fun stat if ever there was one.

At one twenty six I decided food was a must. Very important, eating is. At one forty six I was no closer to my goal, and could not find the nearest bus stop. Red Warrior needs Whoppers badly!

I did find a post office where you could only buy post cards in quantiles of five. I don't know five peoples addresses. What am I going to do with that many post cards?

At two twenty eight, however, a Whopper and Bacon Double Cheeseburger (not so good, really – and more pricey than the Whopper) were in my belly. The guy at the counter seemed annoyed that I didn't buy combos. Hey, when a bottle of soda is eighty cents everywhere in the part, why am I going to pay a buck fifty to have it thrown into the combo? I'll just switch the fries for a second sandwich at nearly the same price thank you very much.

Oh Burger King, how I love you half as much today as I did yesterday – but that is still a lot. By the end of this expo? I hope we'll still be on speaking terms. Thanks for being the cheapest food in this place though.

And then the world became a much more happier place. I cheered up, forgave The Saudi Arabia pavilion for being crap, and starting to think of the good things about it. And to add magic to magic I wandered into the Caribbean pavilion. Everything was blue, and happy, and the staff seemed friendly, and they spoke English and seemed overjoyed to talk to someone else who spoke the same. Although I was so used to not having to make small talk I quite forgot how.

And stamps. Oh the stamps I collected here. My map was more than half covered by the time I walked out. Truly spectacular. Antigua even had leaf shaped seats for a quick rest. Many a person was using them to snooze. I tried – but failed. I just can not relax. Now when there's more to see and do. It's my biggest fault when I travel, I'd say. And it's haunted me all year. Some times I wonder what it would be like to be one of those people who could sit in a cafe all day doing nothing. Probably really lovely.

Outside the pavilion a musical, performance, arty, thing was going on. A group from Montreal – spreading the vicious rumours that Canadians know how to speak French, were doing there thing. There was a DJ, trampoline comedy, a guy in a wheel type ring thing, and dancers. It was good. I don't know what else to say. Strange – arty – good. The premise was that they dug a hole all the way to China. I realized that if I'm standing up, all my family and friends back home are upside down from my relative position. Weird.

It was getting about time for me to call it quits. I was tired. I was achy. I needed to go home. But as I walked to the bus I noticed there was hardly any line for the Mexico pavilion. Hadn't that been a long line just yesterday? So in I went – and watched a video. You know, I'm getting bored of all these places just showing off how good their projector tech is. What would the pavilions have looked like in the days before computers? They'd have had to have put real effort into what they were doing.

Don't get me wrong – Mexico stepped it up, with masks, and images, and rock carvings, and a lot more – it wasn't just a video. There was a band too, just for fun. But most places? All video, no anything worth while.

Out of Mexico, time to head home. But look, Chile! O.K. I'll just take a wee peek. And it's a good thing I did too – this was, by far, my favourite pavilion of the day. Perhaps of the show.

Walking in you enter a room with trippy music, and an infinity mirror along the wall ending screens flickering forever up and forever down. A voice repeats, chillingly, do you know your neighbours name. And when you wonder why everyone's head is craned back you too look up, to see an entire apartment upside down, attached to the ceiling as if nothing was strange at all.

Moving forward, eight screens display the eight tips for making a better city. They display one at a time, while a melancholy tune rolls along, making you almost forget about the small brownhaired girl who has been watching from small screens every step of the way.

Next, are plans for future city spaces. We live in a city so that we can be community. The message comes across. And as you descend the future tech multi window touch controlled wall screens display aspects of various lives, and images – moving not still – that matter to all they represent. Once the cities and faces from within them have been explored a videor room takes you through more that is to be discovered with the Chilean borders.

Leaving you pass a well, a “hole” dug through the world. A live video link connects with people half a world away.

And then you leave. Not once was Easter Island exploited. Not once was anything forced at you. Not once were thing fully explained and spoon fed. This is what World Expo should be. This is beautiful.

Perhaps it's that I connect so strongly with the subject matter. Perhaps it's that I enjoy the Mystlike quality of the experience. Whatever it may have been – there was choice here, and wonder. And yes, my desire to visit this country has only been, again, reinforced. While I wish to forever stay out of South America – I now know that that will be impossible.

Venezuela was just a walk in too. I mean, it wasn't much – a bunch of hammocks and people not knowing how to get out of them, thus leading to falling spectacles of all sorts, and an escalator – but... it had a stamp. And who knows? It could have been good.

The South America pavilion blocked my way. This really was shameful stamp collecting at its worst. But there was a neat giant cow in Uruguay, And a volcanoe somewhere too. I filled up two more squares on my map. Two squares! I realized why people had all these passports with them. Those who were getting four or five stamped each? They were selling them on the internet. I don't know why you'd want to pay for these things if you weren't there - but people like to collect. The strange thing? They sell for the price of a four day pass. They sell for the price of a train ticket from Beijing to Shanghai and a day pass. Who are these people who want them at that price and can not just come out to get them themselves? The things people do.

Slovenia. This was one with a line the day before, so why not take advantage of its zero queue, yeah? Coloured walls. Could have been worse. Could have been projectors. But that was saved for:

Argentina. It was an ADHD nightmare. There were projectors on all the walls, circles projected onto the floors, different videos, different ideas, different moving things every which way you looked. It was madness! Maddness!

Seriously though, I needed to get back. But – oh - South Africa and no line! Alright, but this is the last one. Honest and true. Aside from a big soccer ball out front there was little inside, save for chairs to sit in. This would have been a welcomed rest were I not in so much pain already. I just needed to gee tee eff oh. It was time to leave. On the bus, elbow elbow. Off the bus. Walk walk walk. Another Whopper for good measure (I was starting to get grumpses again) and then a green tea donut.

Onto the subway, off the subway, to the bakery to buy food for tomorrow. And once more I missed the turn to my street. Two days in a row I've thought, huh - I don't remember there being a Lawson's on the way home. And of course this is because there never has been one. On the plus side the weird fish store employees grabbed my beard in awe again today.

It's a good thing that the overpass street is lit in neon blue, otherwise who knows how far I'd walk before realizing my error?

Back at base I headed for an early sleep. After all, getting up at seven wasn't early enough. Lets try five thirty then, shall we?

Shanghai World Expo 2010 - Day One

Who would have that that an expo bringing together the whole wide world would be so... ... ... big?

Thinking back on the day that I just went through it's hard to keep everything straight. It's hard to remember what I saw, what I liked (good thing then that I took notes, huh?) And it's even harder to get the energy to write about it all. But if I don't write about it now I'll just have two, then three, then four ridiculous entries to deal with in the days coming. No – there's just no way around it. I'll have to write now: May 13th, 9:03pm. 21:03 for those who like to be sure.

At 7:03 my day began. In theory it actually started at four in the morning when the worst Snorflog since Milan (but not worse) led to an entire dorm turning on their bedside lamps to see just how one person could be snoring in five different ways at once. Somehow though, after half an hour of contemplation, I fell asleep. Did he stop snoring? Did the pillow over my head muffle the noise? Was it just exhaustion? Who can say for sure – but I ended up asleep. At one point I figured I'd just grab my computer and watch movies, there was no way to ignore this beast.

Seven.

I woke up. I went back to sleep.

Seven forty five.

I woke up, and headed out to the subway station. I love being city entrenched. Head to the corner, grab some delicious baked goods on the way, and then subway off to wherever you need to be. For me if was four stops south.

Getting off there I followed the crowds. They knew what was what, and next thing I was being herded into pens and chained off, secure – no hope of escape. The only way to go was forward. Through security – not as painless as other places. They had the metal detectors turned way up here. My pocket clock thing... it almost got taken away. What? Anything with a clock must a-splode?

But once inside, oh yes, once inside then it all began to happen. I walked through the entrance gates and found myself standing – in the middle of a road. I'm not sure what I expected, but of course this is just a part of the city the same as any other. There are roads, traffic lights, and buses that take you from one end to the other. This is a working breathing part of the city.

What happened to the things that used to be here?

I had a map of the different pavilions in hand, but faced with so many choices how could I ever hope to know where to first dip my toe? The longest journey, single step, blah blah blah – but at that rate I'd set myself off on a perpetual stroll that would lead nowhere, ultimately leaving me tired, bored, and with little to show save for a collection of hopes for the future. No – I could not plan future days, I needed to make the most out of what I had now, here, in the moment. I jumped on the bus and headed to the only place where this could really begin:

Canada.

It was early enough that the lines had not yet begun to fill. They would. But for now, they were just annoyances – a maze to be stepped through delaying my entrance. A video screen promised real French-Canadians to answer any Canada related questions I might have. French-Canadians? Isn't that like filling the Chinese pavilion with Taiwanese and Tibetans to answer any and all questions? But never mind that.

I was home.

Kinda. Sorta.

I was as home as I had been for the last eight months, and if home happened to sound like the future from Bill and Ted's excellent adventure, complete with trippy lighting, well then so be it. An animated film ran when bicycles were peddled, and through the doorway into another room, a story was told with still frames set to sad music on wall sized projector screens.

I'm not going to say I 'got it', but seeing images of Yonge Street? That brought me back.

As I left the building, passing up a 40RMB can of Moosehead (lunch would later cost me a mere 33) a thought hit me. I bet no other country puts a Unicorn on their passport. And if they do – I bet they can't get away with it the way we Canadians can. Canada. Unicorns. Awesome.

Next up, Brazil. Video screens showed images of their country under a ceiling of soccer balls. One room, video projector, only the best aspects displayed. This would become standard for most of the pavilions I visited today. Some added a bit here or there, but the arms race for the best projection technology is clearly at work here.

Columbia added something which I'd only seen on television, and in science fiction movies. Touch screen computer tables. That's the best way I can describe them. You've seen them too – they have virtual documents on the table, and you can move them around, size each window, rotate them, shift them to someone else, and then manipulate the contents of each inner frame. Columbia: bringing you the future. And cocaine. They'll probably bring you cocaine too.

Headed back to some place I'd been before, I entered the Peru pavilion and was punched in the face by images of Machu Piccu. Curse you flooding – curse you! Sure they had some artifacts too, but it was all just too much to bear. I picked up a 'passport stamp' here though. Asians love stamps, and they have these fake passports that they get stamped. I don't know where they get them, or why they have more than one – but they do. I just collect the stamps on my map. It's a good a thing as any. Seeing the Nazca hummingbird on the stamp I remembered that there was more to Peru after all, with an audible, “oh yeah,” I smiled to myself and headed out a happy traveller.

And now the lines would begin. I had had enough fun, and games, and straight shot entries. Russia would require thirty minutes standing in line. But no worries, I had the teachings of Richard Branson to keep me entertained as I waited. And the wait to get inside Russia was most definitely worth it. To be frank, this is as close to walking on Pandora (Avatar) as you're ever going to get. Black light luminescent plans crawled through the second floor, while pathways led you through the reconstructed jungle. Waterfalls covered the inner sanctum, and strange semi-holographic children dressed as spacemen rambled on in Chinese.

It was beautiful, and magical, and raised the bar for any and all challenging pavilions.

As there was no line I headed into Croatia – I'd hate to say it was just for the stamp, but being little more than a glorified tie shop, if I didn't enter thinking that, I certainly left that way.

The Luxembourg pavilion struck me as strange and unusual, constructed out of steel intended to rust a captivating brown, it was far larger than any other building I'd yet come across. And this was for Luxembourg. Now I can't be sure, but I think this building might be bigger than the entire country itself. While it may not be 1:1 scale, good ol' Lux hardly ever comes out more than a millimeter square on even the largest maps. It's one of those countries that has it's name attached with an arrow, the text hanging out in the middle of an ocean somewhere. Or in Germany. That's a country big enough to load up with all sorts of text.

The outside, once you'd entered through the gate after waiting in another terrible line, was covered with different flowers. It also offered a glimpse of the great spiky ball just off yonder. Said ball would turn out to be...

The United Kingdom Pavilion. I may have skipped this – the line was not a short one – and many people were saying it was impressive from the outside, but that there was little inside. Still, another claimed it was a must see, and having stepped through the doors I would have to agree. Amongst many contenders, UK took my vote for favourite of the show – provided that anyone is paying attention to what I think.

Not only part of the World Expo, it is also the worlds largest seed bank. Stepping inside the globe is like walking into the Titan project. From the outside, giant plastic spears skewer the globe. From the inside, the tips of all those violent intrusions can be seen. And within each? Three or four seeds. Thousands of spears, thousands of different plants. And each tip is lit, collecting the sun from the parts outside. To see them is to understand how diverse this planet is, and how everything starts as something small. I don't want to end up taking this more seriously than I feel I should – and I wont – but it was impressive. Just as a visual it was truly something to behold.

At this point I had seen all the obvious choices in my current area (except USA. While its line was large when I entered into Canada, assuming it would soon shorten was obviously a foolish notion. The que had doubled, perhaps tripled, by the time I returned to it.) With no obvious destination I headed into the Africa pavilion. Yes, it did feel like something out of the Toronto Zoo.

This was a stamp collectors dream. I'll just start by saying that. Inside were well over two dozen countries – and each had their own stamp (provided that there was ink, or employees to man it.) The first signs of ink running out were seen here. People reverted to writing the country name by hand. And those that had ink were stamped by people with looks of such pain and boredom on their faces. A constant rush of people kept them busy with no ques to hold them back. Many people grabbed a stamp and left, not even bothering to look at the area.

This was also a wonderful way to spent an hour and a half. You could walk around without lines, just going from one destination to the next. I popped into Zambia and looked at their images of Victoria Falls. Next door was Zimbabwe, they too had images of Vic Falls – looking rightfully more impressive, at that.

Then there was Botswana... look – it's not that I wanted to scream BOTSWANA! at the top of my lungs, to the delight of some, and horror of others. It was just that I really didn't have a choice. You're in Botswana, it's what you have to do. Fact! Just ask Chef. She'd know.

There were a number of other African exhibits showing the delight of places such as Somalia, and Rwanda (uh huh?) and a number that I didn't have time to go into. I will say, though, that if I got a stamp I looked around.

I've heard it said that these pavilions are built for the Chinese, and being in China that makes sense. But what does that mean? It means all flash. Lots of pretty pictures, and neat things. You'll watch them go in, take a good three dozen snaps in a matter of minutes and then rush out, barely taking anything in. And the problem? I started to do the same thing. It was to the point that I think this was the only way to experience these things. If you put too much thought into it you realized there was little substance. Still – it was pretty. And think of all the African (fair trade?) coffee I could have purchased.

Not all African countries were within this building. Some stepped up to having their own, which sadly meant more lines, but some were shorter than others, and I was quick to jump on this, even if I had no intention of vising them before.

In Lybia the staff were trying to keep a smooth stream going through, asking me to keep on truckin' and not look around. Nuts to that. I went beyond their line that others had kept to in such an orderly fashion. Look – beyond that line were stands with writing on them. If I wasn't meant to go back there, they wouldn't have put small print talking about the capital city there would they? No sir they would not. And as I stepped over, and refused to head back until I was done reading, chaos broke out. If he's doing it, I'm doing it syndrome took over and people rushed everywhere (which they really ought to have been doing anyway) and with a smile in my heart, and tune on my lips, I skipped on out.

Nigeria contained a map of their country. Good for Nigeria.

I went into Angola because there was a line – you'd think this counter productive, but none of the other places had lines. When I reached the front I discovered it was a line for a movie. Could I see the movie? No I could not. I needed a ticket. Where could I get this ticket? No one seemed to know. Which was a filthy lie, as they all had them, but I grew weary of this game, and headed off. Tunisia was calling.

I'm going to honest. I didn't even know there was a country called Tunisia. But now I do, until I forget. There was a cool jumping fountain here. No Magic Fountain in Barcelona, but – you know – it was cute. And lit up. I dug the lit up factor.

In line for Egypt something terrible happened. And it wasn't the rain that caused a relatively few amount of the Chinese to put up umbrellas (still enough that I got nailed right good in the eye) it was – I finished my Richard Branson book. From here on out lines would be... lines. Just a que of nothingness. And it was awful. So awful.

And then, once inside? O.K. if you were Chinese and never going to leave your borders this would be amazing. There were real three thousand year old artifacts. But my first thought? Hey, shouldn't these be in a British Museum (poor poor Egypt.) I'd seen this all before, and I quickly made my way out. But there was a crazy white curvy interior that juxtaposed the darkness quite well.

The Netherlands was pretty good. There were sheep. Sheep to sit on and do terrible things to. Not that anyone did terrible things. But I imagine some thought about it. It was an outdoor ramp that offered great views of the whole park. And there was a water station. Free drinking water for all! It was broken. Vinnie Van Gee also represented (I call him this a.) because it is awesome, and b.) I don't know how to spell Gogh. Well I guess I do. I guess it's just 'cause of the awesome factor then.) Also Miffy, often mistaken for Japanese, was here.

From this point on the lines were terrible. France, Germany, Poland, Switzerland. This was a block from hell. I would not wait for these. I would come early another day. Yes that would be my plan. A good plan. An excellent plan. One that will see me holding a novel to read.

But there in front of me was Iceland, nary a line to speak of. This did not mean I was in fast though. Iceland was a 360 movie that lasted thirteen minutes, and there was no wandering in and out. You were in for the whole thing, which means if you didn't get in straight away you had a thirteen minute wait. I just made the cut off for the next showing.

Sitting down I decided that laying would be best. Once more, seeing me do it, some followed suit. I had perfect view of the main screen, the left screen, some of the right, and the ceiling. I felt I was doing pretty good for myself. And it was so relaxing. After all this wandering it was more than needed. I saw Geyser, and volcanic landscapes, and sheets of ice, and beautiful vistas, and oceans stretching on and on. I was left with a feeling of awe for the place that started my journey all those months ago. And an understanding that there are apparently a lot of attractive girls in bikinis in Iceland. Why you throwing so much eros at me Iceland? They showed a girl in the thermal pools under the cave, and my first thought was – I busted up two people having sex in that location when I was there! The way the girl on the video sauntered in, turning to a sultry silhouette, I assume that was to occur again. Sultry sauntering silhouette – say it five times fast, and then six times backwards.

Just when we were all lulled into thinking the film was at an end the volcano erupted spilling ash and lava into the sky. It was magnificent, and powerful, and terrifying. This was the first image I'd seen of the eruption, and what images to see, fully surrounding me with sound to reproduce the horror. Once more, Iceland – what a wondrous place.

Lunch was Burger King. 33Y whopper combo. So good. So cheap. So dangerous.

Next up was one from the list of 'must sees' I cobbled together. Ukraine. Sigh – there was no Chernobyl stuff. What's the point of the Ukraine without that? There was a yin yang city here. I don't know what else to say about it. Moving on.

Sweden. This one had a line, but I couldn't afford to get lazy. Also it was only half the line it was ready to manage. Still – forty minutes, that's how long it took to get through. Forty minutes to walk into a big Ikea. This is what it was. A giant huge Ikea, complete with slide – but you couldn't slide down it – and restaurant – which was not Ikea priced. Now was it really Ikea? I didn't see the brand logo – but you knew what it was. Forty minutes. Help whoever waits the full two hours. Pippie Longstocking was everywhere though. So that was fun.

Finland was next in line (not-ta fin-rand!) You spiral up some stairs, there's some chill music, and a guestbook with camera screen to take your picture, and leave a message. It was a nice orderly line leading up to it, all until the person in front of me came up, then it became a Chinese line. And getting anyone out of your frame? Impossible. On the plus side they put in a lovely background using a blue screen, and I was wearing a blue shirt, so I ended up just being a mysterious floating head, and the people around me the crafty onlookers. Also – since my eyes are the most darling shade of cerulean you've ever seen, they two became gaping holes leading through to the Helsinki skyline.

After Finland I could feel myself entering the home stretch. The sun was setting and the lights were all coming on. I jumped into the Estonia pavilion. It was a magical karaoke land. And the music? Chinese. I watched one and sang quietly as it was going on. I could handle this. Sure I don't know Chinese, but it was slow enough to phonetically manage. I stepped up. The big screen announcer claimed we would be switching to an Estonian power song. Oh good – fast. Word to the wise, never karaoke in Estonian. Still – I think most people were more wowed by my beard that they didn't concentrate on the vocals (more on this ongoing phenomenon to come). And the mic was turned way down.

Turkey? Turkey. Turkey! (And you could win a trip to... sigh... Turkey.) That's where I was. Lots of crazy lights in the dark, and things under glass panels like a Squaresoft Store Sepheroth. This was one of the pavilions you could actually lean a thing or two in. But by this point my legs were tired, and I ached. I had no patience for knowledge. Over to Ireland.

In the emerald land I ran through making the most of what I could see. Pictures of famous people, and videos of who knows what, all to the backdrop of U2. Ugh. And that was that. Expo done.

I jumped on the bus, and took a ride past the China building (to get in, you need to show at the gates around 7am, and hope to get a ticket, and maybe fail. That's the only way. Bonus tickets or nothing.) took some photos, jumped on the subway, and headed home.

Sweet god – I can't believe I have to go back and do this again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. Amazing.

Welcome to Shanghai

At nine o'clock this morning the train rolled into Shanghai station – an hour and a half late.

Lesson learned – Chinese trains do not run on time. Accept that, make it part of your outlook, and move on. From the moment I stepped foot onto the Shanghai platform my rush of a day was underway in a beautifully chaotic fashion. I was pushed up one staircase, and down another, through a security screening and then past a gate. Everyone else seemed to have tickets to get through the gate, but I was just let on in. Shoved on in. I'm sure it will be fine.

Up another flight of stairs it becomes obvious that that last gate I went through? It was the gate to get onto the subway, and while – yes, here I am now – I will need a ticket to get out. Not wanting to be charged the highest fee I had to make my escape out of the pay area so I could then buy a ticket and reenter. But how to get out without a ticket? And without paying. I mean I didn't mean to by-pass their system, did I?

So, I got out the same way I got in. When I saw a big gate open for paying people with luggage I got in the charge and burst through. It strikes me that you could probably go anywhere in this city for free like this, but the ticket was only 3RMB and who am I to break the law in China? That would be a teeeeeeeeer-rible idea.

Ticket paid, and back inside, I rode the three stops, and then walked the five minutes to end up at my hostel. Once there I was told that I could throw my gear down but that I couldn't yet nap – the bed was not free. Fair enough. Rather than lazing around I was forced out into the world. In search of a map.

Apparently the China Mobile store at the end of the street would have maps. I was off. It was a good plan at the time, and as they sold World Expo tickets I was pretty sure I could kill two proverbial birds with one very large proverbial stone.

The store was sold out of Expo tickets, and the maps were all in Chinese. Still – they wrote down the address of a allday shop that sold tickets just one block over. Off I headed with a spring in my step and a new chinese map of which I could read maybe ten characters. This would help little, but do for the time being. If I could locate my current possition.

The allday? They were sold out too. Why are these places selling out? I mean it's not like the tickets are anything special – you can get them right at the main gates. Just keep more in stock people! But no, I was still without tickets. Fine, very well. Whatever. Back to the streets with my Chinese map. First stop? People's Square where I began my adventure from the subway.

On route I passed a volunteer booth for the expo, and was given – without asking, they just saw me walking by – an English map of the city. What service! Next up was people's square where two Chinese guys started talking to me in near-perfect english. This is never a good sign. Never. It's just as bad as someone starting a sentence with, “where are you from?” Nothing beneficial will ever come from these things.

After talking with them for a while they mentioned a tea ceremony. Uh-huh. I may be hours into the city, but the first thing that I saw entering my hostel was a poster claiming this to be the big scam. And it is – do a google search of Shanghai tea ceremony. Loads of scam hits, and pictures of people who run the scam. But I still had an hour before McDonald's went from serving breakfast to lunch food (lunch is much cheaper, and I am not quite so rich) and I kinda-sorta wanted to see how this scam played out. So long as I can keep myself removed, I'm normally pretty good with them.

And if I end up losing some money, so be it.

Now, had I read about this scam on the internet first I would never have been so bold. Never. I would have ran screaming – just like a wee girl named Germaine used to when complemented on her t-shirt by an awkward school boy a decade past – and never looked back. But I had not yet researched how the scam is supposed to play out and so I went along with them.

After all they did just spend ten minutes walking me through my map of the city and pointing out all the best places to go. So off with the I went, foolish as a first day traveller, up to the shady complex and into the tea room. Sitting down I asked first and foremost how much would it cost? They pulled out a menu. Each tea – 48RMB. They ranged from 38 to 139 but the average ones, 48RMB.

They then explained lucky numbers and translated all of what the girl pouring the tea said. Then they asked how many types I'd like to try. I pulled out a 100RMB note and said, “this is all I have. We can do two.” And then seemed fine with that.

We drank the tea. I was offered the chance to buy some tea. I declined – being a back packer and all. They seemed fine with that. I got a little tassel thing as a “gift” (sure you can get them at the 2RMB shop, but they also sell for 20RMB in the tourist district, so it's not a terrible thing to get – for free, in theory) and then the bill came... it was – dun-dun-dun...

97RMB. I paid, I got change. We left. It was good.

So let me tell you how the scam is supposed to play out, and then we can figure out if I got scammed or not, alright? Because it's a hard question. I'm going to say no I did not. But yes they were running a scam. Work with me here.

People chat you up by peoples square – check.

They take you to a tea shop – check.

You drink the tea – check.

You get a monster bill – umm... not really.

From what I've read some people never ask to see a price and thus drink all the teas, which would set you at about 700RMB. One hundred and ten American dollars. But this is not what I've heard in the scam article write ups either. People are losing hundreds of American dollars, three hundred, six hundred, and up. So what went different for them? I asked to see the price. At that point they couldn't just make up random numbers on the bill.

As we drank the tea we were poured glass after glass from one brewing. This is where I worried. This is where I thought they could argue that each glass was 48RMB and as I'd not inquired about that it would – in theory – be my fault. I've seen scams like this before, where they take you to an ATM to pay. I will admit that I was a tad worried at this stage, but not for lack of money. Most people would just pay – but I was wacky, and overtired and ready to rage or love. If it worked out, I would love. If it was a bad scam, I would rage. And the police would be involved. Would they care? Normally – probably not. But in the early weeks of the expo with the eyes of the world kinda-sorta on them... Well the Chinese act differently during these times. There are workers that prevent people from J walking right now. Imagine that in any city, let alone Shanghai China. I figured the police would back me, and it could be a fun story – but also a hassle that might not play out necessarily in my favour.

This is how other scams have run from my post-review and research. But no, I was simply charged the 97RMB which I had agreed to when entering the building. Was it that they took pity on me? Did they not want to hassle with an ATM? Did they believe that, as I said, I only had 100RMB on me?

I'm not sure.

As we left, they pointed me in the direction to the pedestrian street I wanted to go to, and then wished me a good day. They were very nice, very kind, and very helpful. Was it a scam? Sure – I mean what are the odds that I meet the only two people interested in going for tea right at the place where all these scams originate, and they aren't in on it? But for fifteen bucks, an hour of good tea drinking, and touristic advice, and delightful conversation? It was definitely worth it.

Had I been charged ten to twenty times that, I would have been less delighted. But I wasn't. So there it is. Strangely enough most of the people writing about the scam say how pleasant it was except for the price at the end. For me? I just got the pleasant. If I were you, I wouldn't recommend going along with this, give the choice – but then again every now and then it works out.

Like I said, I was pointed in the direction of the tourist street, and that's where I wanted to go. A few seconds later I was strolling along it. It's a pedestrian shopping street – or so they would have you believe. Sure it's for walking, except for all the intersections where bikes and scooters zoom through without warning, and – ohh yeah – there are a number of sight seeing 'trains' that run up and down without any regard for people in their path.

Up the street I came across a third official Expo items gift shop. Looking around inside I realized that all the prices were set and that no matter what area I was in I'd need to pay the same amount. Most of the things were cheap, except for the many items made of gold – but never mind them. It's a Chinese thing. Who wouldn't want a giant gold mascot? Am I right?

I asked about tickets and was sent down to the end of the street, near the river. There was a building there selling them. As I was headed off that way anyway, this seemed like an excellent destination. And once there I cringed – paid my 400RMB – and received a 3 day pass. It looks like Shanghai for me will be all expo, and nothing else. With four full days left, I'd have only one left to explore the city. With that realization I knew that today must be my day of full exploration. If I didn't see it now, I might never develop the time for it.

To the river. The waterfront has a lovely boardwalk full of domestic tourists in matching orange, pink, and yellow hats. There are also teenage couples being in love (gross), and old couples also feeling emotionally affectionate even after all these years (even worse – don't they know they should be bitter and unhappy – that's what relationships are all about! I mean the kids are young, they don't know better – but, come on.)

It seemed I was destined to know just about every teenage girl on the walk, however. There was just no avoiding it. Not me, not in China. Once every minute or so I was stopped by someone wanting to take my picture, be in a picture with me, or I would stop on my own, making it easier for the people lurking behind lampposts trying to be covert in their hairy white man photography.

It's not that I'm unused to this behaviour, it's just that I'm unused to the frequency. It's to the point where if I see someone take out their camera I just stop, and look at it, assuming they want a shot of me. Ohh – they don't? Huh. I guess that makes sense. But then when I start to think I've become far too conceited, there's someone else snapping a shot of me.

The Pear TV tower was as wonderful as I thought it would be. But did they really need two globes at the base of it? I mean Toronto decided that a pink CN tower might be a bit much, didn't the fine people of Shanghai realize how this could be interpreted? Ohh never mind. This is Asia. That was probably the intent. Super good lucky power tower!

Big ol' cock and balls.

That what I saw hanging in a restaurant window. A giant roster, and some spherical meat in mesh bags. Not knowing what any of the mysterious meats were I opted for McDees. I know, I know, I'm mad at myself too – but ten Nuggets for less than two bucks? And they gave me three sauces. Three!

Luckily for those who do love Mackers there seems to be one on every other block. On the Nanjing road anyway. Man in never ceases to amaze me how that one company changed the world forever. Who thought it would be hamburgers and soda that linked the entire globe? Take that Michael Jackson, and your Superbowl half time event!

Back on the water I was again caught up in people snapping shots of me. I imagine it's because they remember the famous Sean Richtoff when he was interviewed about the Beijing Opera back two Marches ago when I was in New York. Maybe not. O.K. most likely not. Still, a man can dream.

Reaching the point where the river walk was less touristed, and more a bus stop infested road, I decided to make a break west, or Xi as one might say here. There were the Yu gardens to be enjoyed, after all. Though I assumed that they would come with a price tag I'd not yet be willing to pay. Still – the forty five minute walk there proved to be interesting all in its own right.

I walked into the local area of Shanghai where stores charged a third of what they were other places. 2RMB shops popped up (this is basically a thirty cent shop.) Some magnets may have been bought here. Magnets that may seem racially inappropriate were they purchased in any other location.

Through the back streets I walked, cautiously, as I'd been advised there was some thievery in this here town. But I had no problems, and it was in interesting journey. Men were fixed their motorcycles at the side of the road with rusted parts in a plastic yogurt container, while their girlfriends fed them ice cream on a stick. Yes, I did mean to pluralize that. It seems to be the only way one can fix a bike. No girlfriend with stick-ice cream? Why even bother?

Clothes were hanging from windows precariously close to power lines. Cats were being scooped up and taken away, with a polite nod and a hello my way. I'd rather not think about where those cats were headed.

For twenty minutes I saw not one white person. I'd found the tourist shopping street for the domestic travellers. The Anti-Nanjin if you will. And then I ran into “Old Street.” Gone were the authentic buildings, and shops, and people. Here were the “authentic old buildings” tourists came to see, converted into Starbucks and fashion streets. There was also a figure shop – more toys! But it was sadly lacking, and overpriced.

I'm not saying that pictures weren't taken here – but it wasn't what it could have been. As I walked along the boardwalks over coy ponds I once more was requested to pause for a half dozen more photos. Every now and then, I'd have them take a picture with my camera to prove that this happened to the folks back home. I feel that I should just wear my camera in video mode around my neck as I walk through these areas to show the people who pause, take pictures, and ask me to stop. I don't expect anyone else to believe it. I don't expect I'll believe it a few months from now ether. Still I can hardly blame them, I am – after all – pretty awesome.

And then, with that done, just a stroll back to the hostel where – crashing in bed watching the latest episode of LOST (calling the day good and done at 3:30 – hey I still put in six hours of exploring! And I have expo tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. And the next day.) Wait, four days? True. A guy sharing my room gave me a pass he wasn't able to use up. I now have another day, and this is it – Shanghai will be all expo for me. Confirmed. Not that that's bad. I did see most of the tourist stuff today anyway. So I probably won't see the gardens, ohh well. And I won't see the skyline at night tonight – but there are all those trips back from the expo to investigate that area after dark. I'm sure I'll get there. I'm sure.

How could I not?