Tuesday, May 18, 2010


Once more, I feel like the animated child from one brief moment in an episode of The Tick, “CON-SUME!”

Sure, he was talking about shopping and I'm talking about media but as both are simply byproducts of the Americanization of the world, I feel it all holds up.

I'm throwing in the towel. Beijing is done for me. No more cabs, and no more polluted streets. I know there's so much more to this city, but I saw the things I wanted to, and while I don't walk away feeling like I know the city, I feel like I've seen enough. I needed a day off, and I took it.

It's hard for me to justify these, as I normally feel like I need to just keep on pushing on, but as I'm in a place that requires a taxi to the subway, and a subway to the city, I am calling on the power of laziness to help me. It's not like the big swirling metropolis is just outside my door. Were it there, I'd be wandering darkened markets, and finding food on sticks, and checking out corners of the place where tourists don't normally end up. Because that's what I do – I walk cities. But, as I can't do that here, I give up. Shanghai will have those things too, I'm sure, and me? Well – like I said, I need a break. Pushing on leads to bad things, I'm told. I'll take 'their' word for it.

So what does a person like me consume? Well, I started off with catching up on the last episode of LOST. And lordy lordy, is it still good. I'm pretty excited for it to end in a few weeks, and see if the last six years of watching paid off. I would have said no, a season or two back, but now? It seems like they know what's going on. But... Sun... Jin... Why?!

And then there's Stargate: Universe. Who knew that it was still going on this season?! I had no idea! So I had to catch up on a good number of those episodes, because, you know – awesome. I love me all things Stargate. And never mind that these are darker and more serious, I like some BSG with my SG. B[SG*2] some would never say.

And then there was Doctor Who. It's strange to think that I started watching that back in Europe and within eight months I'd seen the whole series, the Torchwood spin-off, and now watching it as it's newly released, aired, downloaded – what have you.

And with that, I was done. And it strikes me that while I thought I was getting out of TV, there is more and more that requires watching. Departures: Season 3 is starting up, and as that's why I'm out here, I figure I need to see that somehow. There is no downloading for that one though.

Also, Smallville – it's not that I like it, or want to watch it, but since season 4 (seven seasons ago) it was supposed to be in its last season. And so I watch it, hoping it will finally end. But no – even now, even all these years later when - “seriously guys, this is the last season,” - it has been renewed for another. Ugh. Will this never end?! The time will come when most people alive don't know a time without it!

And then there's Trueblood – which is yet to start up, but help me when it does, because there will be no way around checking that out.

And Big Bang Theory, and How I Met Your Mother. I need to catch up quite a bit on those, but as they're not Dramas, but rather Sitcoms (though it's hard to tell with HIMYM – this season has been more sitcom less drama) I feel I don't need to be all that up and up on them.

Television, what a wonderful thing.

Oh yeah – and in Hong Kong? I watched Glee. Not the new stuff, but up to sectionals. I don't want to like it. I don't. I just can't help myself. The singing, the wonderful – wonderful singing. And it's so weird. Is it like a musical where they sing, but other people can't hear it? I'd say yes – but other times people respond to the singing and it's really happening. So are we to believe this big girl just smashed her friends car windshield and then sung about it to his face, while the cheerleaders had a dance routine ready to go? I can't tell. It's confusing.

But not as confusing as the fact that for four months the main teacher never saw his wife naked, or touched her. Yeah, that's not weird. And let us not forget that all the kids in that show are horrible monsters – but I don't think the writers know it.

They keep talking about how the club is the one place they can all be themselves, but every episode they're destroying each others lives, back stabbing, or just being terrible terrible people to one another. And then they pretend that no one likes them because they're in the club – look if you only have seven friends, you should probably treat the with respect, and if you can't do that, maybe it's not because you sing that people hate you, but because you're just a jerk!

I mean, I work in a school – I get this... the students in the school like the teacher, Shoe. He is running the club. This is enough to make the club accepted in the school – because people respect the staff adviser. The staff adviser is also the only person who stands up to the gym teacher, who all students hate. This would give him a cult following and make more students like him. He is also a good looking teacher, which would make people like him too – in that creepy awkward, god it sucks to be stalked by students, way. But these would make the club seen as cool.

Now, add in the fact that the high school football stars, and the only football hero, are in the club. The hot cheerleaders are in the club.

Still, people do not like the club. Now, when you have the coolest kids, the prettiest people, the most awesome teacher, and a lot of talent all in one club and you're still hated – it's time to think, damn – maybe we're just assholes.

Sorry. I'm calm now. But serious – so many things are beyond the ability to suspend disbelief in this show. And though I know it's terrible, and I know it doesn't make any sense, and while the characters don't develop but change on the dime for each ep... I still love it. I can't not.

the singing.

After hours and hours of this, I was taken out for Pizza Hut (half a pizza is all you need. It's not Pizza Pizza Pizza. After half a pizza – super delicious though it may be – you wil be full... of grease. Tasty, tasty, grease.)

And then there was cold stone ice cream. And it was sweet! I know that it's not the best ice cream, but you pay for it like it is (especially by Chinese standards) but it's just really fun to watch them mix all those things into it. And, you know, they had banana. And bananas are good.

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